A Fish Called Wanda Fic
by Oldmoviebuff
Summary: This will probably be called something different when I finally get around to posting it on archiveofourown. Anyway, this is a missing scene from A Fish Called Wanda. It takes place directly after the kiss with Ken. One shot, please let me know what you think


A.N.- I know I have other things to be working on, but this was something that I had been kicking around for awhile, and it took my dad and me showing my brother "Holy Grail" last night to finally give me the push to write it out. This was always my favorite scene in A Fish Called Wanda, the scene between her and Ken. Sooo many of us can relate to that whole "unrequited love" love angle, so I decided to give Ken (incidentally my Palin was my favorite python) and those of us who live vicariously through him (secretly rooting for him, if you know what I mean). So here is a little one-shot that a jotted down last night, then edited this morning for a missing scene in the movie after "the kiss"

Ken walked back into the flat, perplexed and a little scared. He was still reeling from the assault Otto had just made on him. Wanda flitting about the flat and suddenly dropped to the floor desperately trying to get her skirt on, screaming about the police knowing where the jewels were. It had taken Ken a second to fully register what had been going on, but there she was, scared and running about. He didn't even have time to consider who had called to tip off Wanda, she was already heading for the door. He had to stop her and quick.

"No, no, no. It's alright." He grabbed her arm, and she frantically turned to face him.

"What?"

She was so worried and upset, he couldn't help but stammer, he hated seeing her this way. She slowed and tried to help him. "Ge-g-g…"

"George…"

"M-m-m…."

"Moved…" Then it hit her.

"George moved the loot?!"

"Yes." There, that should ease her mind, but instead it only seemed to make it worse.

"WHERE DID HE MOVE IT KEN? WHERE DID HE MOVE IT!" She was holding his face now.

"Ca-ccc-ca." Oh dear, her hands were on his face and nothing was coming out now, he didn't even know what he was trying to say. Then, everything went warm.

Wanda calmed him down the quickest and most efficient way she could. She leaned in and kissed him. It was a nice kiss, as far as Ken could tell, he was glued to the spot, leaving Wanda to do all of the work. When she pulled away, Ken was finally able to speak.

"I don't know where it is. There's a key. I don't know what it's for. It's in the…"

"Shh…" She put a finger to her lips, her soft lips. "Don't tell me. It's better that you don't tell me." Her hands had returned to the side of his face but this time, instead of clutching, it was more of a cradle. Ken was lost in her eyes, but there, she was talking again.

"Oh, you know, if it wasn't for George…" She kissed him again; it was a kiss that he was more than willing to participate in. But then, she stopped.

Well, while he still had the faculties, now was as good a time as any…"Otto…tried to k-k-kiss me…"

Wanda kissed his forehead. "I thought he might." She said, matter of fact-ly as she held his head to her chest and nuzzled her head against his.

They stood there for a minute and Ken, for once in his life, decided to be bold. The arms that had been resting, limply, at his sides were slowly brought up and wrapped around Wanda's waist. Wanda stiffened then pulled back with a bemused smile on her face.

"Ken?..."

"Y-y-yes Wand-d-a?" Ken tried his hardest to meet her eyes, but couldn't. Dammit, this was his big chance!

"Ken?...what are you doing?" She was speaking slow and measured, her curiosity was peaked.

"I d-don't know. I'm sorry…" He had failed. His moment to take charge had passed and he began to loosen his arms and step away…until Wanda stepped closer.

"W-w-w…"

"W-w-Wanda?" She stepped even closer, her arms now around his neck. Ken shook his head "no".

"W-w-what about G-George?"

Wanda ran a hand through his hair and brought her lips to his ear. "Does he need to find out?" She lightly bit his lobe and cocked an eyebrow.

Ken was dumbfounded. Even though he knew it wasn't true, he liked to think in his head that she was choosing him over George, _him! _He had known George for years before Wanda had come along. And of the pair of them George, of course, had always been the leader, the charmer, and the alpha male. If they both walked into a pub, he could bet his fish that George would walk out with a girl, and he would walk off to a show to avoid the flat for a few hours. Girls just never seemed to gravitate towards him and he_ knew_ it was his lack of self-confidence, well, that and the stammer. Hell, George could have been talking right to him and the lady friend on his arm would still barely acknowledge his existence. But Wanda? How was _this_ for acknowledging his existence? He did pause for a moment to think about how George would react if he ever did find out.

But then, Wanda didn't seem to mind the consequences, so why should he? For once, he was going to be on the same level with George, even if he did have to shag the man's girlfriend to do it.

Wanda took Ken's hand and led him over to the bedroom and onto the coverless bed. Why had the blankets been on the floor before? Oh, well, Wanda was sitting him down and starting to undress him so he could worry about the state of the room later.

Once his shirt was off, Wanda pushed Ken all the way onto the bed and straddled him with just enough room left to negotiate his trousers. Ken closed his eyes and rested his head back on the skewed pillows as Wanda teasingly kissed his chest and undid his zipper. In the blink of an eye, Ken was fully nude and not quite sure when it happened, while Wanda was slinking of the skirt she had so hastily put on only minutes before.

"Wait" Ken held up a hand and caught her wrist.

"What?" She looked at his questioningly, for all she knew he had changed his mind, though she highly doubted it.

"What can I do to h-help?"

She smiled her crooked smile. "This." She removed her legs from his sides, sat beside him, and pointed to the salmon satin shirt that she had on.

Ken carefully sat up, and with trembling hands, attempted to undo the buttons. Oh how he wanted to kick himself and his shyness. He couldn't even keep his hands steady for what should have been a simple task. Wanda stilled his hands in hers and undid the buttons with him. Once the shirt was off, she was down to a sultry black bra and panties. He had never seen undergarments like this in person before, only on the TV and in catalogs. Wanda didn't give him much time to marvel, and she certainly wasn't done with his hands. She brought them up to each of her bra straps and pulled them down, down until, together they had freed her most glorious breasts from that horrible lacey prison. With the bra now just under her breasts, but still on, she straddled him once more and brought his hands to her back.

"Here. See what you can do about this." She left his hands on the hooks in the back as she brought her hands back up to his face, then his hair, as she leaned in for another passionate kiss.

Ken tried to undo the hooks, but he was being distracted by Wanda's mouth and her beautiful, soft breasts now pressed against his chest. He honestly didn't know how to manage the infernal hooks when all of his brainpower was currently being allocated to controlling himself and not "celebrating" too soon. By some miracle, the hooks came undone, and the bra was tossed aside, no longer needed. Wanda took care of her own underwear. She was growing impatient; perhaps he had taken longer than he thought on her hooks.

It wasn't long before…before… the heat of it all engulfed him. Ken had done this before, of course, but only once or twice, and they had been the awkward fumblings of a teenager. It had been years since his last time, and even then, not nearly as sweet as this was. The way Wanda moved against him, it was just the right way. She put her hands behind her, on his upright knees to hold her balance, arching her back in the most breathtaking way. Ken couldn't get his eyes to blink even if he tried. He placed his hands on her hips to help her and was rewarded with her lovely hands being removed from his knees and placed on his chest. He moved his pelvis under hers, which caused a little moan to escape. A moan! At least now he wasn't the only one. Sadly, the experience didn't last much longer and with one final "bang" it was all over.

Now, Ken knew that this was not much more that a pity-fuck, and now that it was over, he didn't expect Wanda to hang around. And surprisingly, that is just what she did. Ken had moved himself up against the headboard to recuperate himself, and to his great shock, Wanda wiggled up next to him. She placed her head against his chest and rested her hand on his stomach.

"Thank you for that." Ken said quietly, shame filling him once more, although he wasn't entirely sure why.

"No problem."

"Wanda?"

"Hmm?" Her eyes were closed and she sounded more than a little beat, it had been a busy day for her.

"Why are you still here?" He was genuinely curious; she had no reason to still be there. Hell, this was her bed. She could have kicked _him_ out.

"Do you want me to go?" She looked up at him.

"Good heavens no."

"Well alright then." She settled her head back against his chest and closed her eyes once more. Ken placed his arm over her shoulder and brought her in closer.

Ken knew this wouldn't last, so he fought off sleep as long as he could, his day had been just as full as Wanda's and he was equally tired, but he wanted to savor every last moment he could. He did love her after all. He remembered when George had first walked in the flat with her, and introduced her as a new accomplice to the heist that they had just begun scheming. Nothing major, a hotel, something to help break her in to the way they did things and to see if she could cut it. Which she had proved beyond measure. This was obviously not her first walk in the park. It had startled him, especially given his first impression of her. How could this hot, young American get mixed up with George? He remembered on that first day, after the introduction, George led Wanda away, further into the flat to show her around. Ken said something about going down the pub later, which had come out in a stammer with the new company present. George just nodded his head and continued on, but Wanda, she turned to look at him over her shoulder and _winked_ at him. That right there was the moment Ken knew that she was different from the others. And his regard only grew from there.

Neither of them were sleeping, but at the same time neither of them made an effort to move, and they stayed that way for about a quarter of an hour. Wanda broke the blissful silence and stillness when she began to slowly pull away and rise.

"I'm sorry Ken, but I have to go. There're some…things I need to get taken care of."

"Wanda…"

"Yes Ken?" She was sitting on the edge of the bed now, the light from the window hitting her curves just right.

"You k-know that I l-love you right? I ju-ju-just wanted to say."

"I know Ken, I know." She leaned in and, with one hand, pushed his curls from his face and kissed him one last time. She then got up and made her way over the scattered clothes and blankets to her wardrobe to get a change of clothes. After settling on some new undergarments and a dress (that curiously matched the bedding), she threw him one last smile before retreating into the bathroom to shower off.

After that, Ken must have finally let himself dose off, because he awoke several hours later, curled up nicely under a blanket that hadn't been on him before. Ken silently congratulated himself on finally getting the one up on his mate, even if his mate would never know.


End file.
